"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

Surely, in North American culture, the apple pie is the King of pies, Emperor or all Tartes. Arguably, here, in Québec, the tarte au sucre deserves mention, and of course, the pecan pie is, as always, a dark horse.
But, Gentle Reader, I have had apple pie my mind, on account of having been served it over the weekend, at the end of what had to be one of the most enjoyable family meals (outside of my own family, of course) I've had the pleasure of attending in quite some time. And so, I set out, as it is, of course, the Year of the Pie, to make, for the first time in my life, apple pie.
Behold!

Of course, it all starts with the apples.

And the dough. Pie is a simple thing, really. Fun fact: first time I have ever cooked with lard. True story.

An hour in the oven...

Truly, a thing of beauty.

 The only question now, Gentle Reader, is cheddar, or ice cream?